Sunbeams In Our World

Excerpts of Stories by or About Persons with Down Syndrome

I remember the excitement with which we awaited Meliah's arrival. We had chosen to adopt a child with Down syndrome, making our experience a little different from families whose children with Down syndrome join them in the more conventional way. We had been well prepared by the social worker and encouraged to find out what we might be getting into, so we knew what resources were available to us even before Meliah arrived. I am going to reprint here some excerpts from family newsletters that we used to write back in the days when we had more time!

February 1992
In March we will be meeting and bringing home our new daughter. She will be three months old then. The hardest thing is going to be keeping patient for the next week. I am so excited. I was much more apprehensive before Akasha's birth. (Akasha, born to us, was three-years-old at the time.) I knew that someone would be handing me seven pounds of responsibility soon enough. This time around I know that we can parent and that all the sacrifices children require of their parents are worth the joy that is returned. So far, Akasha is pretty excited about the idea of a new baby sister.

March 1992
It was a very strange experience walking into an unfamiliar house and having a complete stranger say "Come and see your daughter." The foster family was wonderful and obviously loved Meliah very much. I will always remember the seven-year-old son sitting with Meliah, their faces about an inch apart as he told her how wonderful and perfect she was. The foster parents invited us to stay the night in their spare room. They were glad to meet us and to see that Meliah would go somewhere where she would be loved. We know that she has come from somewhere where she has been loved. I have been inspired by how God has taken care of her. It was a very intense 24 hours. Everyone cried when we left. It was one of those fox-hole experiences where you spend a life-changing, short period of time with people you barely know.

April 1992
A friend organized a drop-in shower / "Meet Meliah" party. Fifty-five adults and children came and it was a fun time. Meliah has been well and truly welcomed into our community of friends.

The following weekend was our first "Ups and Downs" meeting. This is a parent-led group, the goals of which are support, education and networking. When the other parents heard that we had adopted Meliah, they applauded us. Naturally I had a good cry. I hadn't planned that! It must be those adoption hormones whizzing about in my body!

May 1992
Someone told us that a professor at Cardiff called children with Down syndrome "sunbeams in our world". The world would certainly be a little duller without Meliah in it. She continues to be a joy and a blessing.

December 1992
Meliah was assessed the day before her first birthday. I had a feeling that her speech was slow and I wondered if it was within the normal range of slowness or if it was the long-awaited developmental delay So, we had her assessed. Her gross motor skills are right on track for a one-year-old. Her fine motor skills are at about a nine month level and her speech is at about a seven month level. I found this kind of depressing. After the infant development worker left, I looked at Meliah and thought, "Well, you're officially delayed now." She just looked back at me and grinned her fool head off. What does she care!!! Children have so much to teach adults! Meliah is happy, a joy, and certainly very motivated. She lives in a very stimulating home, so why get all focused on the things she can't do right now? I was so thrilled the other night when I showed her how to pick up peas between her thumb and forefinger (pincer grip), something a 'typical' child her age can do. SHE COPIED ME! Well, if she isn't just the cleverest baby in the world, I don't know who is!!!

Summer 1995
Now Meliah is three and has some significant differences from her peers. Her chromosomes have been different since conception. Some things will take her longer to learn. She is also the same as other kids in many ways. She has a loving home, she cries, she gets into trouble, she looks and acts cute, she loves to learn - the same as any other child. The significant and confusing thing is that Meliah is different and the same, at the same time. She is just a kid, but she is a kid with Down syndrome. We cannot separate her from that label. Meliah is a unique and valuable individual, the same as anyone else, but she will always be different.

So, welcome to the family of Down syndrome. Your child with Down syndrome will bring you joys, challenges, blessings and struggles, just as any of your other children will. Raising a child with Down syndrome in our society is hard work, but you have a whole group of new "relatives" who have been there before you and so can support and encourage you, laugh and fume with you.